


feeling something

by lovethevoid



Category: Palaye Royale (Band)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, M/M, Warped Tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 21:30:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17495729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovethevoid/pseuds/lovethevoid
Summary: don't want to leave here with regrets





	feeling something

Sebastian was burnt out.

He knew there were only a few weeks left, but daily shows in the oppressing heat was proving to be just a little much for him at this point. Everything was too fast, too humid, too _loud_. He hated that he was starting to loathe it - he knew he should be appreciative that they even got the chance to be on the last Warped Tour, or on any tour for that matter. 

They were somewhere in the Midwest, Illinois maybe, he couldn't remember. It looked exactly like the rest of the Midwest. The evening was winding down, and he knew they'd be driving soon enough, to another too-hot location that looked like all the others. Seb felt like a zombie in the bus, listening to Remington talk far louder than necessary, too enthusiastic for his own good. Seb wanted to tell him to shut up but he had no energy to really bring himself to do it. His head hurt and the alcohol wasn't even helping at his point.

He left the bus without thinking much. Maybe he'd take a walk, maybe he'd sit down and cry in the sun-crisp grass. Who knew? The night was still young. His plans came to a screeching halt when he saw Daniel leaning against the side of the bus, near the back, a cigarette perched between his pointer and middle finger. He looked over at Seb upon hearing the door shut, and Seb nearly turns around to go inside. Daniel waved a little with his other hand.

"Hey, what's up?" Daniel asked, tilting his head to the side. The sun setting sun was casting a warm light over his face, and Seb wished his heart wasn't suddenly about to beat out of his chest. 

The _Thing_ with Daniel started at the beginning of the summer. At least for Seb. He didn't think Daniel even realized that Seb was fucked for him the moment Warped started, and if he did, he surely didn't act like it. They'd grown close in all those times in-between shows, where Remington and Emerson were fucking off with Luis and they had no choice but to spend time together. Seb had grown overly-fond of him, his messy hair and soft smile, along with about a thousand other things.

Seb just shook his head and rolled his eyes in response, going over to stand beside him. Seb had an inch or two on him, but it never felt like a whole lot, especially when Seb felt particularly vulnerable anytime he was with Dan. He forced the thoughts out of his head, patting the front of his pockets. "Fuck." He said under his breath, tilting his head back until it thudded against the bus. He left his cigarettes inside.

"You alright, man?" Daniel prompted, eyebrows drawing together. 

Seb risked a look over at him. "Not really." He answered. His headache seemed to be worsening, and the humidity in the air felt like it was resting on him like a heavy blanket. "I just wanted to smoke, but I fucking left them inside, and I'm not going back in there."

Daniel shrugged, gesturing his cigarette towards Seb. "Take it. Looks like you need it more than I do." He said. Their fingers brush when Seb goes to take it from him. Daniel doesn't react. Seb feels like he's going to ovrheat.

Seb brings the cigarette to his lips, takes a quick drag, and Daniel watches him at length before speaking up again. "What's really going on, though?" He questioned, his voice gentle, not prying. Seb flicks the ash off the end and shakes his head. Daniel doesn't press.

They stand together for awhile, watching the sun fall below the horizon. Daniel sits down first, lets his back slide down the bus until he's sitting on the ground. Seb sits next to him, stretches his legs out in front of him. Daniel picks at the dry grass around them, drops some blades in Seb's lap until Seb laughs and tells him to stop, nudging his shoulder. Daniel smiles and looks down, and things are quiet for a long while more as Seb finished the cigarette.

"You ready to talk now?" Daniel asked when it felt right. Seb hated how easy Daniel had him pinned, how easy Daniel could read him despite all his time trying to hide his emotions. It was endearing and frustrating and Seb wasn't sure how to handle it.

"It's just. Hard." Seb replied, staring up at the sky. There were the faint hints of stars starting to form. "Tour's been a lot. Been feeling like an asshole." He added, shrugging a thin shoulder.

Daniel mulled over that for a moment. "I don't think you're an asshole." He said finally.

"Yeah? I appreciate that." Seb answered. Maybe Daniel was the only one who didn't. Seb wasn't sure if he cared about anyone but Daniel right now, anyway. "It's also just been like - like, feelings. Y'know?" He continued, and immediately regretted it.

Daniel shifted a little beside him. "Feelings?" He said, and the word hung in the still summer air. Daniel gets two cigarettes out after a moment, handing one to Seb. He lights them both. Seb feels like there's tension now more than ever, unspoken. He wondered if he was over-analysing.

"Feelings." Seb said again, tried to project some confidence. He holds the cigarette loosely in his fingers, glances at Daniel. 

Daniel exhales smoke, nodding his head. "Feelings are good. Better than none, I guess. What kind?" He asked. Seb had a feeling Daniel didn't really care, that he was just putting up with Seb because he had to, because Seb interrupted his time alone.

Seb doesn't know how to answer. "For someone." He settled on, and it feels like he's veering into some dangerous territory now that he's opened that door.

"Oh." Daniel said. His voice was flat, and Seb wished he could take it back. He was fucking everything up, like he always did. He felt panicky, doesn't know how to cover his ass at this point.

"Someone close to me." Seb added, and it didn't help anything. Daniel nodded but didn't look at him, just kept smoking. Seb floundered for a minute, leaning forward so he coul see Daniel's face around his hair. "You know them."

Daniel's eyes shifted towards him. "Ah." He said, like he was pretending to be supportive. "Like, romantic feelings?" He prompted. "Because trust me, those never work on tour." He said, and it felt... heavy. Meaningful.

Seb opened his mouth to answer but he couldn't figure out anything to say. Daniel puts his cigarette out and starts to move like he's going to stand up until Seb touches his leg. "Don't leave, please?" He asked, hopeful.

Daniel bites his lower lip and gives a miniscule nod, easing himself back down. "Okay."

Seb's barely thinking when he speaks next. "It's about you. You know that, right? Like, because I'm painfully obvious? I act like a dumbass around you, Daniel." He doesn't let Daniel get a word in before he continues. "And if you don't like me back, that's cool, because I know I'm a fucking mess. I ruin every goddamn relationship I'm in." 

Daniel stares at him for awhile, wordless. Seb can't help but whisper a "sorry", squeezing his eyes shut so he doesn't have to look at Daniel. "Sorry I ruined everything."

"It's okay." Daniel said, and Seb felt the warmth of his palm against Seb's thigh. "You can't help how you feel."

"Fuck." Seb murmured to himself, shaking his head.

"I mean it. Don't worry." Daniel answered, scooting a little closer to him. Seb's still not looking when he feels Daniel's lips against his. It's startling, Seb didn't even realize Daniel had got that close to him, but it tastes like cigarettes and it feels warm, feels like home. Daniel pulls away and says a sorry of his own. Seb's lids feel heavy when he blinks them open.

"Why'd you do that?" Seb asked softly.

"Hard not to when you're so pretty." Daniel answered, tucking a piece of his hair behind his ear. He looked nervous. Seb can barely hear anything over the sound of blood rushing in his own ears.

"Okay." Seb replied, and Daniel smiles a bit. Seb can't help but smile back.

He knew there'd be a lot more serious conversations in their near future, about what happens to them when Warped ends, where they stand together, and what it means for the rest of the band. For right now, Daniel's intertwining his fingers with Seb's and it's summertime. Seb's in love.

**Author's Note:**

> perhaps a cliche sorta fic but,, u kno i had to do it to em


End file.
